You're probably reading that title, with a slightly cocked head - "why does that word have quotes around it?" Well my dearest friends...let's sit right back, and you'll hear a tale...
In March, a dear friend of mine got married - she was the wrost friend ever during that time. She alienated herself from EVERYONE, including myself and the other MOH Lauren. Lauren is a very strong personality - she's diagnosed bi-polar and has a tendency to be extremely inappropriate at the most inopportune times. Lauren felt the brunt of the "friendship" with the bride a little harder than I did, and she claimed that after the wedding, the relationship was "IRREPERABLE!" Needless to say, Lauren and I became very close friends during this time...or so I thought.
After the wedding, I would hear from Lauren in an everyother day consistence. She would stop by for dinner, I would go to her place...we celebrated her birthday together (the whole 9). In April, Lauren told me that she had decided that she and her then boyfriend had decided they were going to get married, and asked me to be a part of their wedding...oh yeah...he hadn't proposed yet, so she didn't have a ring. So I went along with everything - I set up dress appointments, venue visits...even sat with her to speak with a preacher...still no ring.
3 weeks ago, I was informed that her then boyfriend was planning the big proposal...that's right, he still hadn't done it yet. He has his pilot's lisence, and was going to fly them to Athens for lunch, and propose mid air. He asked if I would drive to Athens (which is about an hour's drive each way) to be there when they landed, and when I declined because my own sister was in town for her own REAL wedding stuff, he seemed okay with it all. The Saturday he proposed, I called her, to no avail...so I texted her...to which her response was, "You should be here butthead!" I told her that we should get together for dinner that week...and that was the last correspondence...
So come that Monday...I called (3 times) left a message, and didn't hear back. So I texted...I facebooked, i called again....no answer, response or acknowledgement of my breathing existence. A week goes by...nothing. I call again...nada. I text...niete. So I stopped...I was hurt, over it and more than anything else...annoyed.
Matt (boyfriend) and I went to dinner with the former bride and her husband, and she proceeds to tell me that she and Lauren had done "this and that"for the past few weeks together..."irrepreble" my ass. I looked at Matt, who clearly heard the comment, and changed the subject...'cause now...I was pissed.
Today marks over 3 weeks since I had spoken to Lauren. I had pretty much given up on being her friend, let alone in her wedding...until the email came. A mass email to over 30 women inviting them to a "wedding weekend" in the mountains for "wedding stuff," in November. As I was reading the email, I noticed who was #1 at the email correspondence...the bride...and who was second...me.
In the email she proceeds to tell us that she will need $60 per person who will be staying with her for that weekend to do her wedding stuff....THANK GOD I alreayd was going to be out of town that weekend...I didn't want to go anyway...
As I'm reading the email, yelling at my computer screen, I get an IM....that said, "I just sent you and email." "ok" "we need to get together for lunchor dinner next week." "How about lunch Monday?" "I'm out of town until Thursday..." "And I'm leaving Friday for the lake because it's a three day weekend..." "I guess we'll have to wait til after Labor day weekend...." "whatever"
I'm done with being a fair weather friend...I'm a DAMN good friend...but you need to be my friend back. I will give you the shirt off my back, I'll pay for your train ticket over the phone if you're stuck somewhere, I'll feed you while both your arms are set in a cast....and I don't expect much in return...just acknowlege me!!! That's all...that's it....
Evidently that was too much to ask.
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that was MY train ticket!!!! awww, the days I was lame and poor and stuck in hellish areas of the US... Megan came to my rescue!
ReplyDeleteYou are a best friend. To anyone who lets you in, you're one of the best things that has happened to them. I have another friend going through similar stories, such as these...
we sometimes forget why we became friends with someone in the first place. When we finally "notice" their uglier side... their unorthodox tactics... we finally wake up and say "wait, why did I care in the first place?!" It's those times that we must allow ourselves to move on because, it's just a negative cloud we don't need.
You, Megan, are a tremendously amazing and incredible woman. And, you deserve nothing but the utmost beautiful things in life. I'm here and always will be.
Oh I hear you!!! I just stopped being friends with a bipolar girl too!!! We had been friends for years, I bailed her out of jail twice (literally) always helped her when she was wasted....Took her to get her abortion, and then helped her when she got preggo again,and decided this time to keep the baby. She asked me to be godmother, I threw her a baby shower, paid for everything, my parents got her the baby's mattress!
ReplyDeleteI was there when she went into labor, massaged her back, and was there for the delivery....then she went psycho....
We got into a fight about me being FOUR MINUTES LATE for babysitting HER child, and then started speaking again, after a month went by....SHe called and asked if I wanted to hang out, but I was in North GA. I told her I would try to make it down in time to see her....well as I am riding in a jeep back down to GA with the top off and not being able to hear my phone, she calls 12 TIMES and leaves me messages to the likes of "You are probabaly drunk and fucking some boy.." and she is the unwed mother....
At that point, a lightbulb went off in my head, and I knew I was done....My dad always told me that if I was lucky I would get a handful of close friends in my entire life, and to hold them close....
I am so sorry you went through that Megan.....you are a kick ass human being, and don't deserve anything except for the BEST of friends!!